Fun Pet Jokes
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill."
What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog? A terrified postman!
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What did the grape say when the ferret stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it!
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies
Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap.
Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty!
How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
What is a cat's favorite song? Three blind mice.
How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change the litter box once a day.
What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.
What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because he's always spotted.